On Being Socialised

 On Being Socialised

One of the great privileges of having lived here semi long-term is that I am able to be involved in the lives of my Tanzanian friends in such an everyday authentic way. The other weekend I visited a friend's family in the morning and was set to work cooking chapatti (flat bread) over an open fire in their mud walled kitchen while my friend looked after her young baby and did the clothes washing by hand. 

Since Tanzanians on the whole have an extremely hospitable culture where guests are a huge blessing and are not allowed to do any form of work I loved the feeling that I was not an honoured guest anymore in this house but a normal part of the furniture, so much so that they would put me to work! 

It really struck me as I was working through the topic of Sociology with my student teachers and we came across the idea of 'socialisation'. It surprised me that this is what has happened to me. The definition that we read was that socialisation is a process by which somebody learns to behave in a way that is acceptable in that society. Hang on, I thought, I have been and am still being socialised into Tanzanian culture! 

There are many small cultural norms that are easily picked up early on like eating with your right hand, using a spoon for every meal that doesn't require actually eating with your hands, wearing skirts that cover your knees, greeting everyone who passes by on the way to anywhere and calling up friends just to greet them without any other agenda. Also high on the list are trying not to look the least surprised when on a crowded bus a chicken suddenly appears at your feet or a goat cries out loudly as you fly over a speed hump and learning how to show hospitality to everyone who happens to turn up at your door at even the most inopportune times (and serve them tea). 

I am still learning more subtle secrets of this culture and ways of doing things and sometimes it can be frustrating to realise that I will never completely fit in. White skin will always be white and stick out, prompting young children in most areas (and some adults) to call out "Mzungu!!" (foreigner) which can be cute and affirming if you are here on a holiday but gets in a way to be degrading when you feel like Tanzania is and will be your home long-term. This is why I think I treasure those experiences of being treated as part of someone's family here so much. It is a blessing to cook chapatti on a fire in a mud walled kitchen and feel so at home and a blessing that God has given me friends over here that can look past the differences in colour and background that we have and develop a genuine relationship (as well as assist me in my socialisation process!)